Famous sages repeatedly said that the past can not be carried with you, but how to make yourself forget the unpleasant moments, betrayal, pain and loss, they somehow did not report. For adequate existence, this very issue must be solved, i.e. to work out the past.
It is necessary to notice at once that it is impossible to get rid of information about some event or person completely. Still, real life does not involve erasing memories with the help of incredible techniques from the sensational Hollywood blockbusters. You can work with a hypnologist or psychotherapist, but to completely erase the memory will probably only help, probably, a serious brain injury, and that is not the fact.
Professionals will say that the past should not be forgotten, it should be accepted and released. Simply put, everything must be done so that the past does not cause strong negative emotions, otherwise the slightest reminder of something will cause the same strong emotional reaction.
Which will help to start over…
A change of circumstances. One way to forget the past is to change your image, surroundings, activities, place of residence, etc. This way will help to switch to something new, to gain new experiences, to direct your emotions in a different direction, not to be tormented by previous grievances or experiences.
There are many examples of such transformations: from changing one’s hairstyle, changing one’s job or moving to another country, to playing extreme sports, joining a society and defending one’s position at all kinds of meetings and actions. If such processes helped to change thoughts and emotions, everything was not in vain. But most often, by changing the style, lifestyle and even place of residence, a person can not get rid of thoughts about the past and find happiness.
The methods of neuro-linguistic programming will help to professionally work out the negative past. They pay great attention to the change of attitude to a certain event from negative to neutral or even positive.
A collage of happiness. Some methods allow to realize that against the background of other life events a small “black stripe” does not have that grandiose meaning which is given to it by human consciousness. For this purpose, it is necessary to remember not only the traumatic negative event, but also a lot of positive moments of life. For simplicity of work, it is desirable not just to look through these memories, but somehow fix them, albeit mentally. For example, you can “hang” pictures with joyful events on the wall, creating a whole collage.
Just imagine how on the wall there are pictures of your first day at school, rest at sea, birthday in a fun company, first date, games with a kitten or a child, etc. In the same place, among these photos, you should place the negative moment, and let it be in the form of a black and white photo to attract attention as little as possible.
For more effect it is possible to “hang” future happy moments here too: for someone it is three smiling children, for another – the chair of the president of the firm, for the third – receiving the Nobel Prize. It only remains to realize that compared to the huge number of bright events in life, one little black and white picture is nothing, a drop in the sea.
Movie history. Another method not only reduces the importance of negative experience, but also changes its emotional charge. But it will require a little more work. Here you need to become a director for a while, but not a masterpiece of cinematography, but your own life.
Remember your “black” past, i.e. a specific situation, in the smallest details (who said what, how you saw it, etc.) and reproduce it in your imagination. Then add special effects to this short film: let the gait of the heroes be very funny, the expression of the face – the most ridiculous, and voices – as after inhaling helium. Make a comedy out of the tragedy of your life. Let it not erase your past from your memory, but the attitude to it will change exactly.
It is necessary to realize one rather simple truth: all moments of life for something are necessary. What is now perceived by the mistakes of the past will seem to be a useful experience in the future. The past will always be a part of your life, but it should not stand in the way of the present and prevent the future.