HOW Rivalry Affects Children and Parents

Rivalry between children often drives parents to despair, because they do nothing but separate opponents and read Endless educational conversations require considerable effort and nervous tension. In addition, constant squabbles make it difficult to give children full attention, both all at once and individually.

Sad child suffering and his parents having hard discussion in a home kitchen by couple difficulties. Family problems concept.

Some parents try to take their children’s rivalry philosophically and be patient. Others worry that it will negatively affect behavior at school, relationships with friends, or growing up. Rivalry affects children in different ways. In some cases, quarrels with a brother or sister cause a lot of stress and confusion, especially when the child feels that he is less loved or not considered for his needs.

Sometimes childhood rivalry turns into violence. According to the National Survey of Children’s Exposure to Violence (2013), attacks on siblings are depressingly common. The percentage of such cases is especially high among children with an age difference of less than two years. Thus, 40.9% of them reported that over the past year they had been beaten more than once, and 7.7% that they had been thrown at them with weapons and severely injured.

It is important for parents to understand that their decisions should be based, first of all, on the needs of the children, and not on the notorious justice.

Chronic assault, where one child is usually the victim and the other the tormentor, can lead to serious neurotic disorders. It causes childhood post-traumatic disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, learning and social difficulties, and relationship problems in adulthood and with

On the other hand, competition provides certain advantages. Siblings learn social skills from each other. Early experience of conflict resolution prepares the child for many adult disagreements, including developing the ability to get along with other people: for example, roommates or spouses.

According to a 2013 study, fifth graders who were only children had weaker interpersonal skills after five years of attending school. This trend suggests that the ability to manage conflict, acquired in skirmishes with siblings, continues to bring significant benefits, even after the child enters school and spends most of the day with other children.