How to motivate a child. About parental motivation. Is it necessary to motivate the child to study?

Modern parents often have a problem with schoolchildren and who do not want to study at all. With this, they come to a psychologist in the sincere hope that he will make some magical actions, and the child will immediately become a diligent student. However, even the most experienced specialist has no control over this.

The psychologist will not be able to make the child consider uninteresting interesting including multiplication sets worksheets and the terrible as harmless. The work of the psychologist consists in asking parents all sorts of questions, sometimes seemingly irrelevant, in order to help them understand the reasons for the child’s lack of motivation. For example, such as: have you demonstrated to your child your readiness to learn? Are you willing to do aimless and ineffective work for long periods of time? Do you always meet the expectations of those around you?

In response, you might get the objection that there is such a thing as a “must”. But today’s children always ask “why?” before doing any work, and if the work offered doesn’t make sense to them, they lose interest in it. If adults are not able to explain the meaning of their requirements, and, besides, they are not connected with pleasure (in the form of a game, of course – they are children!), then all their attempts will fail.

How to motivate the child. About parental motivation. Is it necessary to motivate the child to study?
That part of the brain which controls responsibility (“should”, “should”), in modern children develops later, and at teenagers sometimes can be deactivated. In order to “switch on” responsibility as early as possible, clear planning and daily routine will help, so that the child fixes certain rituals during the day. And the schedule should be followed by all family members without exception, to show the child that the parents’ words don’t disagree with deeds. Alas, double standards undermine the authority of parents and reduce the motivation of the child.

Types of motivation for children and adults
Using a parallel example: the student is motivated to go to school, the parents are motivated to go to work. Game motivation on both sides: the student can take games to school and distracted from studying; the parent at work is committed to doing only what arouses his interest, trying to get away from responsibility.

Social motivation: the student goes to school for friendship, sometimes to the detriment of learning, quarrels and disagreements can serve as a refusal to study; parents also go to work “to socialize”, and can sit for hours on social networks.

Incentive: the schoolboy goes to get good grades, if he is not given to study – interest to it falls, and with it the motivation; adults also depend on the praise of their superiors, pay raises and promotions.

Learning: the child realizes that he goes to school to get knowledge, adults to work – to realize their potential.

When all kinds of motivation are simultaneously satisfied, we can talk about success. The main of all motivations is learning, but it is necessary to grow up to it. This, by the way, is the reason for not giving the child early in the first grade.

Reasons for decreased motivation

It is believed that every healthy person with a sense of security has a need (motivation) to develop, grow – to live. A decrease in this motivation may be due to reasons:

– Danger – a child in fear does not perceive new learning material. A person’s long-term memory fails under stress. If a child is deficient in zinc, which fuels the area of the brain responsible for memory – he is not good at memorizing poems and rules. The student may be afraid of the teacher; he or she has missed several topics and is afraid of failing; afraid of answering incorrectly; afraid of his or her classmates insulting and teasing him or her.

Fatigue can be indicated by the child’s appearance. Bruising and slouching, and a slumpy appearance require more time outdoors and more sleep. Taking vitamins can help.

– Health problems – such diagnoses as dyslexia, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, minimal brain dysfunction syndrome deserve careful attention and correction by parents and specialists.

– Resistance – the child does not like the authoritarian behavior of the teacher, too strict school requirements, the teenager can critically assess concepts which were important for him or her before. The child can thus resist parents who value external success, but do not develop themselves, he/she does not like parental perfectionism, he/she resists pressure and injustice in the only way possible for him/her.

– Dissatisfaction with himself – disappointment in his own success, the child sees no sense in his studies, he lost confidence in himself, it is difficult for him to adapt in the team, he displays jealousy of other family members.

Conclusions about motivation

It is quite obvious that the teachers’ appeals to parents: to talk, to pressure, to force, to call for responsibility – have no meaning. Parents’ requests to psychologists to strengthen motivation to study are not quite correct and are also meaningless. It is necessary to reconsider the structure of the family system of life, and this concept should not apply to the child’s studies in particular. Often children feel loved and accepted by their parents when they are successful, and this parental expectation of success puts pressure on them and leads to the opposite effect.

The child needs to understand and firmly know that his parents love and accept him in every way, and even if he does not bring home only high grades and meet the expectations of adults, that love will remain unshaken and he can always be supported in the family.